IT'S NOT WHAT I SAY, IT'S WHAT I DO

A few years ago a couple that was a part of our church asked to meet with me. The following week we sat together over lunch. We did the usual small talk about where we grew up, went to school and talked a bit about our families. When the food came, our conversation took a hard turn toward seriousness.

They told me they had some questions about our church's theology and what I believed about, what they considered to be, several “key issues.” The wife said, “What you believe, in particular, is very important to us as we consider whether or not we will stay at this church.”

They proceeded to ask a multitude of questions, and listened intently to every response I gave. This was not the first time something like this has happened. In fact, as a pastor I am routinely asked what I believe about … the Bible, poverty, hell, Jesus, politics, same-sex marriage, salvation, divorce and the list could go on.

At one level I can understand why belief is important. Yet, as important as that may be there is another, far more important question than asking what a person believes. That being, “What do you do?” And I am rarely asked about what I do. And it’s not just me; many who have considered joining our church have spoken of “reading our statement of faith.” Few, however, begin by asking, “How does your church care for the poor, the widow and the orphan?”

This represents a widespread obsession many Christians have with what others believe. For some reason, one’s theology or beliefs about certain issues has somehow become the single most important thing for many.

Not long after I began working as a pastor I was asked to consider being ordained. To help me in my decision making process I was invited to sit in and observe an ordination council. A few days later, I was in a room full of more than twenty men. In the middle of the room was the pastor who was to be ordained.

For nearly three hours they grilled him with questions about every single aspect of doctrine. They even spent an unusual amount of time questioning him about his theology of angels. At the very end of the time of questions and answers, one man asked the pastor being ordained about how he lives his life. He gave a brief answer, several in the room nodded in approval, and they were done.

That’s it. Three hours about his theology. Three minutes about his life.

I left that day wondering how many people could have sat in the middle of that room for three hours giving brilliant answers to all the questions being asked – regardless of what their life was like. I could not reconcile a group of people who cared so much about right theology, while caring comparatively little about right living. Since that day I’ve learned there are few who seem to care more about right living than right thinking. I'm sure some will disagree with me. But just take a moment to listen to others, read some blogs, peruse a few books and page through some Christian magazines. What do we see more of? We speak most of the things we care about the most.

There have been a handful of times when I have sat with people who want to know what I do. They ask questions like: What kind of husband and father are you? How do you practice generosity? What do you do to care for the poor? How do you pursue the heart of God in everyday life? How do you remain open with your life to others? What’s interesting is when I do have these conversations with people, they typically figure out what I really believe. And this reveals a great truth: What I say I believe matters very little compared with how I live. As the saying goes, talk is cheap.

The lyrics in the in the new song by The Fray titled “Love Don’t Die” say it all: “If there is one thing, that's true, It's not what I say, it's what I do.” It’s an echo of James, who wrote similar words nearly 2,000 years ago, “I will show you my faith by what I do” (James 2.18, my paraphrase).

Still, we focus our attention on belief. Just look around and you will see Christians grouping themselves under the banner of common theology. And, even worse, we draw lines and boundaries based on our particular beliefs as a way of revealing who is in and who is out. We engage in wars of words over theology. We throw our brothers and sisters out, and dismiss many simply because they have hold different theological convictions.

All this has caused me to wonder what could happen if instead of grouping ourselves around common theology we came together around common mission. What if our centering point was living selflessly, in imitation of Jesus, for the good of others? What if we did not draw boundaries but forged pathways marked by love, justice, mercy and compassion? What if we took all the energy we spend defending our particular beliefs and put that energy toward doing kingdom work in our world? What if we really cared about how we live in this world and understood that our lives will tell others all they need to know about what we believe?

If we were able to do this, it's likely the Church, and, most importantly, our world would be in a far better place. And, in the end, we just might learn that when we truly give ourselves over to living, we will understand what it truly means to believe.

Get Michael’s Book Unlost: Being Found by The One We Are Looking For today on Amazon by clicking here!

WORLD VISION: SOME QUESTIONS FOR ALL OF US

Today, World Vision announced it will employ and hire Christians who are gay and in legal same-sex marriages (read the article from Christianity Today here). Predictably, many expressed support for World Vision, and just as many expressed disappointment. As I read these responses I found myself asking some questions.

Questions like …

Why do so people who call themselves Christians speak in such unloving ways?

What if our goal was not being heard by everyone, but listening to everyone?

Have we forgotten how to carry on mature, polite, kind and constructive dialogue even in the midst of intense disagreement?

How is it that we cannot express our opinions without feeling the need to take a shot at those with whom we disagree?

How often do we harbor resentment toward others who have a different opinion in this conversation?

Why do we insist on defining ourselves by what we are against?

What is the broader world thinking when they see Christians treating their own brothers and sisters with such toxic disdain?

When others see the way Christians treat each other do they think, “I want to be one of them” or do they run in the other direction?

Why, for so many, does the conversation about same-sex marriage and the LGBT Community create a seemingly impassable divide?

When will we learn to move beyond binary, either/or categories?

Why do many who oppose same-sex marriage feel the need to accuse those who support it of not being true Christians?

Why are many who support same-sex marriages so intolerant of those who are intolerant of same-sex marriages?

When will the Church recognize the unnecessary hurt, pain and wounds it has caused the LGBT Community and finally apologize?

When will we recognize this conversation is not about an “issue” but about people – sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers?

How would our words, attitudes and actions change if we remembered every single word spoken in this conversation is really about men and women made in the image and likeness of the Almighty God?

How many of us, on both sides of the conversation, are willing to acknowledge our biases, assumptions and fears surrounding this conversation?

When will we all admit to using stereotypes and “painting with broad brushstrokes” when it comes to how we think of those with whom we disagree?

Have we forgotten that Jesus would have dinner at the home of a man who is married to a man or a woman who is married to a woman?

Have we forgotten that Jesus would have dinner at the home of a pastor who condemns same-sex marriage, and angrily speaks out against any who support it?

What would happen if those who oppose same-sex marriage and those who are in monogamous, same-sex marriages broke bread together?

If Jesus were to eat the bread and drink the wine today would it be only for a select few or would it be for everyone?

What would our conversation be like if addressed one another as equals, and did all we could to place one another above ourselves?

There are many more questions to be asked, but I’ll leave those alone for now. Of course, there are many responses too. Feel free to share your questions or responses. But before you say anything, I would only ask you first answer the first four questions I asked …

Get Michael's Book Unlost: Being Found by The One We Are Looking For today on Amazon by clicking here!

AN OPEN LETTER OF APOLOGY TO MARK DRISCOLL

Mark,

I do not make a practice of publicly criticizing pastors - and let me assure you, that is not why I write you now. God knows, I’ve received a good amount of public criticism over the years, rightfully so, there is much to criticize. Many, however, feel different, and choose to criticize publicly. And there is a place for that, but I’ve never felt it was my place.

I am aware that in recent months, you have received your fair share of criticism. And, by your recent admission, much of the criticism leveled against you was understandable.

This morning, I saw a headline saying you wrote a letter of apology to the Mars Hill congregation. In it, you apologized for your actions and words that have warranted much criticism. You also spoke of how you are pursuing restoration in several broken relationships - face to face, one on one.

As I read this letter, I actually found myself rooting for you.

This was a surprise for me as there are many, many things about your attitude and approach to ministry, your theology and your beliefs on several issues with which I vehemently disagree. And I suspect you would feel the same about my attitude and approach to ministry, my theology and my beliefs on several issues. And I am not naïve enough to believe we will ever end up on the same page, and agree on all issues. In fact, we may always disagree, and that’s fine.

In spite of this, something in me was moved to root for you as a brother.

I am confident many will still write you off. Perhaps that is deserved. Some have claimed you’ve apologized before, and this is all part of the game. I suppose that’s possible too. God knows I have apologized before only to repeat the very behaviors for which I sought forgiveness. But I am not here to judge your heart.

After all, who are any of us to presume we can judge your heart? Don’t get me wrong, I know healing takes time, trust is not built overnight and, as you observed, many you have hurt still do not know peace. Who knows if there will ever be total reconciliation, but you at the very least took a step – a first step.

Is it possible you will hurt others again? Yes. Is it possible you will say something down the road to wound more people? Yes. Is there a chance you will act in a way that causes further damage? Yes. Are these good reasons for not hoping things change? No.

Please trust me when I say I fully understand what it feels like to screw up again and again. And I know how it feels to apologize and have people roll their eyes in disgust. It’s a helpless and frustrating feeling. But in the times when I have apologized there have always been those who have believed in me – maybe even against their better judgment. And their confidence in me was, in part, what I needed to continue the hard work of making necessary changes in my life.

I trust there are many in your life who believe in you, as you do the hard work to make necessary changes in your life. And I hope to see continued transformation in your life, heart and ministry as much as I do for everyone else.

So, let me conclude by saying two things.

First, thank you for your apology. My prayer is you will have the eyes to see the places long devastated, and possess the courage to dig into those devastated places to rebuild, restore and renew them. May you be surrounded men and women of great wisdom and strength willing to walk alongside you in these days and say what needs to be said. May you be given ears to truly hear and listen to their words. And may their words bring life, grace and healing for you, and those around you. My deepest hope is that you will find joy in seeing relationships restored, wounds healed and see beauty from ashes.

Second, allow me to make an apology of my own. I stated at the beginning of this letter that I do not make a practice of publicly criticizing pastors, but the same cannot be said of what I say in private. And I have set my sites squarely on you many times, my brother. You have been my object of scorn, and I have made you the butt of my jokes. I have labeled you unfairly, referred to you in profane ways, torn you apart and wished ill upon you. I have acted as a hypocrite. I have been more than unkind, and for my words and my actions – I apologize, confess that I am sorry and I ask your forgiveness.

My hope for you is the same as my hope for me and for all of us. Simply, that we will be honest about our faults, but never use our faults as an excuse to keep doing the wrong thing. Rather, may we, in our honesty, be greeted by the transforming work of Jesus. And together, through our scars, tell a better story than anyone ever thought imaginable.

Grace and Peace to you, now more than ever.

Your brother,

Michael Hidalgo

Unlost: Being Found by The One We Are Looking For, is available now on Amazon! Get your copy today by clicking here!

A DAY TO REMEMBER SLAVERY

Slavery has a long and sordid history, and in the slavery business of the early 5th Century no tribe was as brutal as the Irish. They were known for their violence, and feared on account of their barbaric culture. They made a practice of abusing, selling and enslaving children. They had their system down to a science.

Irish slave traders would go to England under the cover of night, and kidnap sleeping children form their beds. They were rarely caught as they moved in and out of towns and homes without making a sound. Occasionally, large war parties would raid towns and take forcibly take children to be sold into slavery. The Irish did this to thousands of children.

One of those young slaves taken during a raid was was the son of an English Nobleman. He was sold to a man named Miliucc, and forced to work as a shepherd. He lived in terrible conditions, was often beaten, was given little clothing to protect him from the bitter cold of the Irish countryside. He lived the tortured existence of a slave for more than six years. These circumstances caused him to cry out to the God of his father and grandfather.

One night, while he was praying, he heard a voice say to him, "Your ship is ready." He was not entirely sure what that meant. As a slave if he was caught wandering away from his master he could be beaten, maimed or even killed. The chances of his being caught were good too as he was more than 200 miles from the sea. But none of these obstacles stopped him.

He journeyed those 200 miles and found a ship ready to set sail. He prayed the captain would allow him - an obvious runaway slave – to board the ship. And to his astonishment, the captain and crew did just that. With that, he sailed out of slavery into freedom.

A few years later, he found his way back home. His delighted parents, unable to bear the thought of losing him again, begged him never to leave. He remained at home for more than a ten years. It was during this time that he was visited, in a vision, by the people of Ireland he had left years before. In his dream, he was handed a letter, and heard the voice of the Irish - those who kidnapped, sold, and tortured him - crying out, "Come and walk among us once more."

He knew God had called him back to the island he escaped from years earlier. He decided to study and learn the Scriptures, but his lack of education was an obstacle. He was young when he was kidnapped, which meant he had only a basic understanding of Latin. Still, he struggled through his studies, and at last was ordained a priest. Soon after he set off for Ireland.

He knew the danger that awaited, and was ready to be murdered, and maybe even enslaved again. However, he was not afraid as he was convinced he was called to go, and was confident he was in God’s hands. He lived for nearly thirty years in Ireland, facing danger every day, but knowing there was nowhere else he should be.

In time he came to love the people of Ireland as his own, calling them his brothers and sisters and sons and daughters. It was his work, love, life and courage that brought true and lasting healing – not just to a few people – but to the entire Irish tribe.

During his thirty years spent serving in Ireland he started 300 hundred churches, and, some claim, baptized more than 120,000 Irish citizens. As a result of his work, violence, tribal warfare, and murder greatly decreased. Perhaps his greatest legacy is that he is also the first human on record to ever protest slavery, and as a result of his being in Ireland, the Irish slave trade ceased. He was not just a pastor – he was an abolitionist. While slavery largely stopped in Ireland 1,500 years ago, it is still alive and well in most of the world today.

In Denver, where I live, a major crossroads for slave trading in the United States is just three miles north of my home. Interstate 70 goes East and West across our country, and Interstate 25 goes from north to south. There are times when I feel helpless, wondering what can I do? What can any of us do? Then I think of that one Irish boy who was forced into slavery.

He redirected the history of an entire people – doing all of this as a simple, uneducated shepherd-slave who received a vision by God to serve and love those who tormented him. His name, of course, was Patricius, which is Latin for Patrick, and today we rightly remember him as a saint. Perhaps today, as we celebrate his legacy, we should do far more than raise a pint of Guinness, wear green or tell people to kiss us because we are Irish.

The best thing we can do is carry on his legacy as the first abolitionist. So what can you do? Much more than you think. Just 18 days ago the “End It Movement” shined a bright light on the continuing problem of slavery. The good news is we don’t have to stop shining the light. A simple first step is to visit them, and learn more about what you can do. Visit http://enditmovement.com Together we can end slavery around the world – just like an Irish slave did among those who became his people.

Unlost: Being Found by The One We Are Looking For, is available now on Amazon! Get your copy today by clicking here!

THOUGHTS ON LENT

Every spring, when I was growing up, there was one Sunday that was different from all others. My parents purchased new floral or pastel dresses for my sisters. My brothers and I were forced into the discomfort of a coat and tie. Our family would be sure to arrive at our church’s building early to beat the larger than normal crowds.

The mood during the worship service was decidedly upbeat, and everyone seemed to be in a good mood. The pastor would start by saying, “He is risen.” And the congregation would reply, “He is risen indeed!” After the worship service we would get home as quickly as possible to enjoy a feast that was waiting to be devoured.

I am speaking, of course, of Easter.

Honestly, it meant very little to me for most of life. Sure, there was the talk about the women gathering spices for Jesus’ body, a garden, a tomb, and an angel saying Jesus wasn’t there anymore, but by the Monday after Easter what we had celebrated on Sunday meant very little. Jesus’ resurrection all seemed quite shallow.

I’ve often wondered why this was, and I finally found my answer more than ten years ago when my wife and I first observed Lent. The word Lent is our connecting point to the season of life. It’s Latin root means “to lengthen.” It reminds us that during the season of spring, the sun takes a little longer each evening to settle beyond the horizon.

With this, the weather grows warmer, and life emerges once more. But this is a messy season. As the snows of winter lie on the ground things get covered, trampled and windblown. Winter brings with it chilling winds that pushes things over, mess things up and even break things. As the snow melts we are left to discover the trash, the litter and branches under the snow.

It’s much like our lives. Over time our hearts and souls, when left unattended, get messy. Lent invites us to deal with the mess. It asks us not to quickly clean things up and pretend they were never there, nor does it not call us to ignore the mess.

Rather, we are invited to roll up our sleeves and sort through the debris. We are reminded of our own mess, and so on our foreheads we rub dirt reminding ourselves that just as Eden has gone to ashes, so, one day, we will too.

The first time I observed Lent, I attended an Ash Wednesday service. Ashes were applied to my head and words were spoken over me, “Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return.” In that moment, something new in my soul began to grow. I learned in a new way that I am a mere mortal, and at same time created in the image of God.

That first Lent was, for me, a difficult time of coming to grips with my brokenness, staring at my sin and searching my heart. All of this culminated in Good Friday. I had never been a part of a Good Friday service either. So I attended one, and participated in the Stations of the Cross.

The words, “My God, My God, why have your forsaken me,” were read aloud, and something in me broke. The best way I can explain it is that for the first time, I saw the darkness of Jesus’ death – God had abandoned him. The Apostolic Creed says that Jesus “descended into hell.”

His descent began the moment he uttered those words. He was naked, beaten, bleeding, dying, nailed to an instrument of torture and death, crying for a father only to realize his dad was nowhere and he himself was in hell.

I left that Good Friday service and ached for Easter. For the first time in my life I had spent the Lenten season brushing up against the death of Jesus as I sorted through the death that was in my own heart. On that Friday his death and my sin crashed into one another.

For so many years Easter Sunday and celebrating the resurrection of Jesus meant nothing to me because there was never any death. And you cannot have the resurrection without the death. Since that first year observing Lent and dealing with sin and death; the Lenten Season has continued to deepen for my wife and I.

As it does, our longing for Easter grows. A couple of years ago I, along with several pastors from Denver, joined together to do a sunrise service. We stood together and read the words, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here, he is risen!” Just as those words came out of our mouths, the first rays of sunlight broke over the skyline of Denver, and tears of joy welled up in my eyes.

The tomb was empty. And it meant something.

I was reminded again that morning, that in the Kingdom of God, death doesn’t have the last word; life does. Through Ash Wednesday, Lent, and Good Friday, the resurrection has become something I desperately long for.

And so, as we enter into this Lenten Season, may we remember we are dust and to dust we shall return. May we examine our frail, flawed soul, and with Jesus enter the darkness of our sin and death and journey with him to the cross. May we be crucified with Christ, and buried in the likeness of his death, so that when we hear the words “He is risen!” - perhaps for the first time, we might truly celebrate the resurrection – because we have chosen to die so that we may have life.

Unlost: Being Found by The One We Are Looking For, is available now on Amazon! Get your copy today by clicking here!

*This post is an adaptation of an earlier post titled, "There is No Resurrection Without a Death"

UNLOST - NOW AVAILABLE!

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM: GET YOUR COPY TODAY BY CLICKING HERE!

From the back cover:

This a journey of the mind as well as the heart as Michael Hidalgo uncovers for us the false views of God that caused him to wander. He leads us to the true God who is pursuing us with open arms. Through reflecting on his journey, he helps us to see how many of us have a deep-seated belief we have to do all we can to please God, and how we live believing the spiritual journey is about us finding our way to Him. But the good news is the Bible tells a different story …

It teaches God is doing all he can to get to us. It claims the spiritual journey is not about us finding God, but about being found by God. No matter how far we may feel from Him; he always comes to us – even in our darkest moments. And when we encounter Him, we become Unlost, and discover the joy of being found by the one we are looking for.

The design team at InterVarsity Press has done a smashing job, and I am thrilled to have the official cover for Unlost. Over the last several months we’ve been working hard editing and refining the message of the book. Several people have had an opportunity to read advanced copies of the book, and they share in our excitement.

From now until March, I will do all I can to keep you updated on what the latest news around the book, release dates and events. For now you can catch up on the latest about the book by going to it's official page here.

Thanks to many of you who have been an integral part of making this happen. My hope is that in the end, we will all discover the joy of being found by the one we are looking for.

CELEBRATING THE LOSS OF RELIGIOUS FREEDOM

Many Christians in America claim we are losing our religious freedom, believe our religious liberty is threatened and feel victimized because of their beliefs. If this is true, it means one thing - It is time to celebrate!

This may seem confusing since we live in a country that holds high the value of individual freedom. After all, according the First Amendment we have the right to practice our religion, and no one, including our government, can prohibit us from doing so.

If and when our freedom comes under attack, we are taught to stand up for and defend it at all costs. It makes sense then, many who believe we are losing our freedoms are angry, upset and ready to fight. But what many forget are not the words of our constitution, but the words of Jesus. He told his disciples, “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad …” (Matthew 5:11,12).

If this is what Jesus said, then it’s possible we are responding to these perceived injustices in the wrong way.

When Jesus told to his disciples to “rejoice and be glad” he did it as someone who had no rights. He lived as a poor Jewish man in a region occupied by the powerful, oppressive Roman Empire. In his day, there was no amendment and no constitution protecting his religious freedom. Jesus’ lived on the underside of power.

Still, not once did Jesus fight for his personal rights or work to defend religious freedom. And, if we are honest, Jesus had more of a right to do this than any other person who ever lived. He could have walked around reminding people they needed to respect him, because he was God. But that’s not what he did.

Even though Jesus was in very nature God; he did not use that for his own advantage or right or liberty. Rather, he made himself nothing, and traded his nature as God for the nature of a servant, and became one of us. He humbled himself, and became obedient to death – and was nailed to a cross by the oppressor (See Philippians 2:5-8). If anyone knew what it meant to be stripped of his rights, it was Jesus.

Except Jesus did not have his rights taken away; he gave them up willingly so all people could be liberated and experience a kind of freedom greater than any nation could ever offer its citizens. I say this, because the freedom Jesus offers cannot be taken from us like the freedom offered to us by this nation or any nation.

Which means the freedom of Jesus does not need amendments or laws and it does not need to be defended. This is why when certain, unalienable rights are taken from us; we can celebrate. Because we possess a freedom so transformative, that if the day comes when we are persecuted, we are still free to love, serve and pray for those who persecute us.

Perhaps we should take a moment to reframe our understanding of religious freedom, and cease claiming it is being taken from us. What many Christians in America call persecution is not the loss of religious freedom, but the loss of religious privilege. If anything this ought to teach us we ought not to place our trust and hope in nations or empires, for they cannot truly offer lasting freedom of any sort.

The invitation then, is to place our total and exclusive allegiance in the Kingdom of Heaven, where we have a freedom in and through Jesus we simply cannot ever lose. And if we embrace this, then we will be free to live in the ways Jesus come what may – maybe then we will see more men and women than ever living in true freedom. Which only gives us one more reason to celebrate.

Unlost: Being Found by The One We Are Looking For, is available now on Amazon! Get your copy today by clicking here!

WHAT I AM LEARNING ABOUT ANXIETY

“It’s pretty much like stripping down naked and standing in front of a group of people to see what they think.” That was one way an author friend of mine described the feeling of what it’s like when you write a book.

It may be a bit dramatic, but it explains the situation well. Every single author I have spoken with about writing and publishing has described, in different ways, some feelings of anxiety when they release a book. And they all told me it was the worst when they released their first book, and I’m learning I am not immune to these feelings.

While my desire is to “surrender the outcomes” I still find myself getting anxious. What started as an idea in my mind is now a book, which means there are different expectations are placed on me by others, and expectations I place on myself.

These days, I’ve spent a lot of time dwelling on the words of Jesus, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life … Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:25, 27) Still, at times, I turn the volume knob down in these comforting words and crank the volume on worry and anxiety. Needless to say, it has been a journey of looking within.

In the process of addressing this worry and anxiety I am learning a great deal about God, myself, and the discipline (and the art) of letting go. And I know I am not alone. So many of us struggle with anxiety and worry everyday. With that in mind, allow me to share three things I am learning in this process.

Don’t Let Others Determine the Outcomes

A few weeks ago over lunch a friend of mine asked, “When it comes to your book, what will you view as success?” I replied, “Well, I’m supposed to tell you that if only one person reads the book and is blessed by it then I will consider it to be a success. But that’s not true.”

But even after I said that, I found I could not answer his question. What are my preferred outcomes? What is success?

I thought on this for sometime and realized we often allow others to determine the outcomes. As I tried to answer the question about success, I found myself using the definitions of others. From the number of sales to positive reviews; my definitions were based on what others would think about me, and had little to do with what I was thinking.

What happened was subtle. I had allowed the thoughts, opinions and measurements of others to guide my thinking about outcomes. So I stopped and asked a simple question: “What do I want and desire from this experience?” The answer was simple.

It’s not about numbers, sales or fame. What I want is for people all over the place to be transformed by the same wild love, compassion, mercy and grace of God I’ve experienced - and I want to be a part of that. Why? Because the thing I love the most is seeing people wake up to the beautiful, deep, transforming love of God - a love that does not change who we are, but a love that shows us who we truly are.

It’s common in the Ignatian tradition to ask God for what we want and desire. So this is what I did. I’ve simply told God what I want, and asked him for it. Something in this is oddly comforting, because I know God knows what I want.

Think in Years, Not In Days

When I feel the clutches of anxiety squeezing my soul, I remind myself to think in years, not days. What I mean is when I have to make a big decision, have a big opportunity coming up or, say, release a book I ask, “How much headspace will I give this five or ten years from now?”

Just today I made a mental list of all the people and things I will still care about in ten years. My faith, my wife, my children, my closest friends, and the list went on. The longer the list, the more I felt at peace. Because, truth be told, my book did not make the list.

Whether my mom is the only one who likes it or if it’s a runaway best seller – in ten years I cannot say I will care much about it at all. If you are anything like me, we give so much airtime and headspace to things that are passing away. I want to give that mental and emotional energy today to the things and people that will matter in ten years.

Remember Who You Are

Anxiety often centers on us - our ability to control, our insecurity about how others will think of us or whether or not we will succeed or fail. Anxiety is nothing more than fear. We must remember if we have control or lose control, succeed or fail, become wildly popular or an object of scorn – none of that speaks to who we truly are.

We are beloved daughters and sons of the Almighty. And nothing can change that. What I am learning is God reminds us of that fact often. He does it through family, friends and, if we stop to listen, his gentle whisper.

St. Francis wrote about when he would return to his hometown and his father would come out and curse him publicly. In these times he would bring a friend with him, and Francis told him the following:

"When my father hurls curses and abuse at me, I will hear them painfully in one ear, but I ask you to walk on my other side, and whisper God's favor into my other ear. Say to me, 'Franics, you are my beloved son. You are a son of heaven and a son of God!' Just keep repeating it until I can believe it again!"

And I am thankful to have friends who whisper God’s favor in my other ear until I can believe it again.

They come from my wife, and her unfaltering love and support she gives me every single day. No. Matter. What. They come from my kids when they hug me, snuggle with me, and say “I love you.” They don’t care about my accomplishments, they just want me to chase them upstairs and wrestle with them before bedtime.

It’s my closest friends who remind me, I am a beloved son. Those who have seen me at my sparkling best and miserable worst – and still say with conviction, “I love you, brother.”

So here I am – it may feel like I am stripping naked and standing in front of a group of people. But even in the midst of that, these practices that I am learning remind me of one thing: no matter what happens in the coming days, weeks and months – worrying about it will not add a single hour to my life.

Unlost: Being Found by The One We Are Looking For, is available now on Amazon! Get your copy today by clicking here!