AN OPEN LETTER OF APOLOGY TO MARK DRISCOLL

Mark,

I do not make a practice of publicly criticizing pastors - and let me assure you, that is not why I write you now. God knows, I’ve received a good amount of public criticism over the years, rightfully so, there is much to criticize. Many, however, feel different, and choose to criticize publicly. And there is a place for that, but I’ve never felt it was my place.

I am aware that in recent months, you have received your fair share of criticism. And, by your recent admission, much of the criticism leveled against you was understandable.

This morning, I saw a headline saying you wrote a letter of apology to the Mars Hill congregation. In it, you apologized for your actions and words that have warranted much criticism. You also spoke of how you are pursuing restoration in several broken relationships - face to face, one on one.

As I read this letter, I actually found myself rooting for you.

This was a surprise for me as there are many, many things about your attitude and approach to ministry, your theology and your beliefs on several issues with which I vehemently disagree. And I suspect you would feel the same about my attitude and approach to ministry, my theology and my beliefs on several issues. And I am not naïve enough to believe we will ever end up on the same page, and agree on all issues. In fact, we may always disagree, and that’s fine.

In spite of this, something in me was moved to root for you as a brother.

I am confident many will still write you off. Perhaps that is deserved. Some have claimed you’ve apologized before, and this is all part of the game. I suppose that’s possible too. God knows I have apologized before only to repeat the very behaviors for which I sought forgiveness. But I am not here to judge your heart.

After all, who are any of us to presume we can judge your heart? Don’t get me wrong, I know healing takes time, trust is not built overnight and, as you observed, many you have hurt still do not know peace. Who knows if there will ever be total reconciliation, but you at the very least took a step – a first step.

Is it possible you will hurt others again? Yes. Is it possible you will say something down the road to wound more people? Yes. Is there a chance you will act in a way that causes further damage? Yes. Are these good reasons for not hoping things change? No.

Please trust me when I say I fully understand what it feels like to screw up again and again. And I know how it feels to apologize and have people roll their eyes in disgust. It’s a helpless and frustrating feeling. But in the times when I have apologized there have always been those who have believed in me – maybe even against their better judgment. And their confidence in me was, in part, what I needed to continue the hard work of making necessary changes in my life.

I trust there are many in your life who believe in you, as you do the hard work to make necessary changes in your life. And I hope to see continued transformation in your life, heart and ministry as much as I do for everyone else.

So, let me conclude by saying two things.

First, thank you for your apology. My prayer is you will have the eyes to see the places long devastated, and possess the courage to dig into those devastated places to rebuild, restore and renew them. May you be surrounded men and women of great wisdom and strength willing to walk alongside you in these days and say what needs to be said. May you be given ears to truly hear and listen to their words. And may their words bring life, grace and healing for you, and those around you. My deepest hope is that you will find joy in seeing relationships restored, wounds healed and see beauty from ashes.

Second, allow me to make an apology of my own. I stated at the beginning of this letter that I do not make a practice of publicly criticizing pastors, but the same cannot be said of what I say in private. And I have set my sites squarely on you many times, my brother. You have been my object of scorn, and I have made you the butt of my jokes. I have labeled you unfairly, referred to you in profane ways, torn you apart and wished ill upon you. I have acted as a hypocrite. I have been more than unkind, and for my words and my actions – I apologize, confess that I am sorry and I ask your forgiveness.

My hope for you is the same as my hope for me and for all of us. Simply, that we will be honest about our faults, but never use our faults as an excuse to keep doing the wrong thing. Rather, may we, in our honesty, be greeted by the transforming work of Jesus. And together, through our scars, tell a better story than anyone ever thought imaginable.

Grace and Peace to you, now more than ever.

Your brother,

Michael Hidalgo

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