More Than Food

Some of the best times I've had in life with friends and family has been around the dinner table. Whether at home or a restaurant, I've spent hours with them ... and eating the food is secondary.

My friend Rod is a chef and he taught me a lot about this. In his eyes, meals were a catalyst for intimacy, conversation and friendship. He once asked me, "You never see people who are mad at each other going out for dinner, do you?" Meals are a pathway to friendship.

This is important to consider as a follower of Jesus. He was always sitting down at a table with those on the "moral fringe" of Israel. His meals were scandalous, which is why many thought him to be a glutton and a drunkard. He wasn't just grabbing a bite to eat with them. In his day, eating a meal was a sign of identification and kinship.

Sadly, we have lost a lot of this today. I don't know many people who make time for real meals anymore. I recently came across an interview I had heard a while back with Maya Angelou and she speaks directly toward this. Below is a brief excerpt. If you'd like to read or listen you can do that by clicking here.

GONYEA: What was dinnertime like growing up?

Dr. ANGELOU: Well, dinnertime was generally boiled. If it was an old rooster, it might get boiled. And we'd have boiled chicken and maybe dumplings, and vegetables during the spring and summer, and even fall - vegetables from my grandmother's garden: carrots, beets, turnips, potatoes, parsnips, rutabagas. I'm going back a long way to remember that.

GONYEA: And meals back then, we think of the dinner table as a place, not just for breaking bread, but also for family stories and community. Was it that for you?

Dr. ANGELOU: Yes, indeed. It was. And I'm concerned that Americans are losing that place of meeting. I had a young woman who came to work for me a few weeks ago, and we had sandwiches. So she had a sandwich, and I had one. And I sat at the kitchen table, and she stood at the counter. So I said oh, no. Please come and sit down

She said: No, Ma'am. I feel most comfortable standing here. And I realized in that second that we have raised a generation of young people who have eaten their main meals at counters. Not to sit down at the table is to lose something that is essential to community, essential to family.

GONYEA: So food cannot just be about food, you're saying.

Dr. ANGELOU: And no, it is not just about food. Food is very important, because there are very few times we can be more intimate, as to share food together.

Yesterday my family and I went to the park near my home. We ended up playing on the swings and monkey bars among other things. As we did I was reminded of the importance of playing. Often I hear people speak about work, rest, and rhythm - all of which are important - but it lacks the aspect of play. By that I mean laughter, acting like a kid, running around (not just for exercise), and enjoying life. This seems to be something that fewer people do well these days. How do you spend time at play?

World Water Day

One out of eight people in our world lacks safe drinking water and two out of five have inadequate sanitation. The direct impact of undrinkable water on communities is clear. What about the indirect impact of scarce water?

A poor rainy season means fewer crops, more malnutrition and even drought. Traveling long distances for water can pose security risks. The high cost of buying water is a financial burden on the already vulnerable poor.

The good news is you can do something about it. Many years ago I met the fine folks over at World Relief. They are committed to sustainable work in some of the most vulnerable parts of the world. Today, you can join with them to make a difference.

In the past, with the support of others, they have been able to:

Train 60 midwives in South Sudan to teach mothers about water-borne diseases and the need for sanitary conditions for their children.

Build wells for 12 communities, provide 100 houses and 5 public latrines while messaging cholera prevention in Haiti. + Read more

Teach mothers in Burundi the importance of boiling water and early treatment of diarrhea. + Read more.

Bring life-giving water to the drought stricken area of Turkana, Kenya.

Teach communities how to maintain wells, pumps and systems for sustainability.

While these (and many more) are powerful stories, there is still more we can do. Would you consider celebrating World Water Day 2012 by giving the gift of clean water? With many giving a little, we can do a lot. + Click here to make a difference.

Jesus Laughs

If you know me at all, you know that I like to laugh … a lot. More than simply liking it, I place a high value on it. If you can’t laugh together you can’t do much together. This is because laughter requires a degree of vulnerability.

This is why strangers rarely sit around with one another and laugh together. It’s why when you are in public and something makes you laugh you try and conceal it, lest others think you are a bit odd. It’s why laughter is good and needed and bonding.

I recently read an article on the fact that Jesus had a sense of humor. I’ve always believed this, but never seen anyone write about it. You might think this idea is laughable, and if you do, well that’s okay. At least you’ll laugh.

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Eyes to See

Nearly every day I have people ask me how they can serve the city of Denver. Recently I have begun to answer their questions with a question. I ask, “What needs do you see?” I am learning that we do not need more opportunities to “do ministry.” What we need are new eyes to see the opportunities that are in front of us everyday.

I am learning this is through the lives of the many who are a part of Denver Community Church. Day after day I am witness to the love and compassion of men and women who respond to the needs they see in front of them everyday.

My friend Justin loves rock climbing and began to consider how he could serve. One day, while climbing at an indoor gym he offered to belay another climber who was alone. When it was Justin’s turn to climb the stranger offered to belay him. Through conversation that followed, Justin learned of some needs in this fellow’s life. In that moment he saw an opportunity to be a friend to a person. For him, it was that simple.

My friend Katie learned some hard news about a woman who is a long time family friend. In a few months time, her friend was diagnosed with cancer and incarcerated. Katie heard the news and learned that the jail where her friend is incarcerated is less than thirty minutes from Denver. She emailed me and told me of her fear. Would she know what to say? Would she know what to do? The idea of visiting jail was unknown and frightening. In spite of that she said, “… I so badly want her to know how loved she is.” So she went, and told her family friend how deeply loved she is. The need was there, she saw it and she responded.

My friend Mark was shoveling his sidewalk after a huge snowstorm in January. As he shoveled a homeless fellow was walking down the middle of the street. Mark struck up conversation with the guy. That’s when he saw that this man who was homeless had only old sneakers with holes in them. Mark asked what size shoe the man wore, and it turned out to be Mark’s size. He wasted no time. He took off his boots and gave them to this homeless fellow. The need was simple: warm shoes. Mark saw it and did something.

My friend Charity heard of a family in our church who learned their child had a brain tumor. She was deeply moved, and began to pray for this family asking God, “How can I encourage them, and other families like them?” She told a friend about her prayers, and found out about Baldric’s Society. She decided to raise money for pediatric cancer research, and last Friday went to the fundraiser where two child cancer survivors shaved her head. Now she is telling the story everywhere she goes.

All of my friends have one thing in common. They had eyes to see the needs right in front of the. Perhaps we have all the opportunities we need right where we are. Which brings me back to the question I ask, “What needs do you see?” In your workplace? In your neighborhood? In your school? In your home? May you have the eyes to see, and the heart to respond.

Once again the flowers on the apricot tree in my backyard are blooming. I take great comfort in these flowers every year. For beneath the mess of dead leaves, brownish-yellow grass, and bare branches that winter leaves behind - life bursts forth. Every year this tree boldly reminds me, "Death does not have the last word."

Fear is Our Pornography

My friend Matt sad to me, “Fear is the new pornography. The more we get it, the more we want it.” It's a good comparison.

When a person looks at porn they are stimulated, excited and aroused. While it makes one feel alive it actually makes them more numb to any real connection outside themselves. Fear is not much different. It arouses emotions that raise our blood pressure and increases heart rate. We become increasingly defended and lose any real ability for deep connection with others.

Those who peddle fear - pastors, politicians, media personalities - are pornographers. They exploit us to get something they want. They use fear as a tactic to build a following. And it works.

It’s almost as if we don’t know what to do if we are not scared of something. Fear has not only become our guide; it has also blinded us to what truer living outside of fear may actually look like. It’s because of the fear that lies deeply in many of us.

We cling to a fear that there is something about us that if someone else learns about they will not accept us. This fear is called “shame.” Rather than address this, we cover up. We buy into the lie that if we hate ourselves, then there is no way anyone else could possibly love us.

Our fear is rooted in self-hatred. Henri Nouwen observed that self-hatred is the most prevalent sin in the church, and sadly one of the least addressed. I think he is spot on. If our personal lives are conditioned by fear, then when fear is communicated it makes sense to us.

The way out of this then, is to confess our self-hatred and move toward self-love and acceptance. The first step toward this is to see ourselves with the love, mercy, grace, and compassion of God. It’s to see yourself as God sees you – as his beloved.

It’s not hard to find people who have moved past self-hatred. They are the ones who don’t get caught up in backbiting, fear mongering, and petty arguments. More than that, it’s easy to see who those people are because they are typically the biggest targets for the people who are the most afraid.

We must never forget that when we are liberated from fear we invite others to be liberated as well. That prospect, for many, is more terrifying than almost anything else. And that terror will produce a lot of anger and destructiveness – all rooted in fear.

A couple of weeks ago we explored this idea of shame, fear and self-hatred at Denver Community Church. Our hope is that we all experience the liberation that only love can bring, for as John reminds us in his letter the to Church, “… love drives out fear.”

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Ten Books I've Read

A lot of people ask me what books I’m reading or have read. Not just any book, mind you. Ones that have challenged me, shaped my thinking, and made me want to learn more. Below is a list of ten books that I have read over the years, along with the reason I found them compelling. There are many others that could, and maybe should be here, this list is not exhaustive, but here it is for what it's worth ...

1. The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God by Dallas Willard

I read this book for the first time right after I graduated from college. For the first time in my life I learned about Jesus and Christianity in a way that made complete sense to me. It truly redirected my heart and life. I have read it five or six times now, and continue to learn more from it all the time.

2. East of Eden by John Steinbeck

First, a shout out to my friend Paul Steinke, who was the one who forced this book into my hands a few years back. This is one of the best novels I have read with regard to character development. Steinbeck leaves little behind in creating rich characters that you love, hate and pity – one with whom you can celebrate and empathize.

3. Nonviolence: The History of a Dangerous Idea by Mark Kurlansky

Mark Kurlansky is a born story teller. In this book he narrates the violent history of civilization, and shows why it never had to be this violent. In revealing the impotence of violence, he also shows the power of nonviolence. He then goes a step further and proves that nonviolence has worked in the past, can work now and will work in the future.

4. Beyond Foundationalism: Shaping Theology in a Postmodern Context by Stanley Grenz and John R. Franke

I bought this book because I saw it footnoted everywhere (there’s a hint! If you see a book footnoted and like what you are reading, buy the book that’s footnoted!). More than any other book, this one challenged the way I thought about God, the Bible, and faith. Rather than tear something apart, Grenz and Franke honor where we have come by building on it something even better.

5. Bury the Chains: Prophets and Rebels in the Fight to Free an Empire's Slaves by Adam Hochschild

Do you want to know about all that led up to William Wilberforce and the Abolishonist Movement in England? Would you like to learn about what it takes to bring real and lasting change by forming a movement that will not crumble? If you said yes to either of those questions, then buy this book and read it.

6. Breakfast of Champions: A Novel by Kurt Vonnegut

Though I love this book, this is more of a category than one book. I love reading what some would find to be quirky and off beat novels like this. Why? Because they challenged my notion of storytelling, and compel me to think more creatively – to not just get outside the box, but to burn the box altogether.

7. Exclusion and Embrace: A Theological Exploration of Identity, Otherness and Reconciliation by Miroslav Volf

Volf is a brilliant theologian who does not only speak from his head, but also from his heart. His exploration of oppression, justice, forgiveness and reconciliation is one of the most thoughtful engagements I have read.

8. The Myth of Christian Nation: How the Quest for Political Power is Destroying the Church by Greg Boyd

This book clearly outline and analyzes the presumption that so many have about America as a Christian nation. With humility, love and respect Boyd carefully scrutinizes our presumptions and compares them with Scripture showing how misguided we are to think that any earthly nation can be wed with the Kingdom of Heaven.

9. Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer

A friend of mine gave me this book years ago and said, “I have given this book away to more people than any other. It’s that important.” So I took it, and read it. Then I read it again. Then I gave it away. Bought another one. Read it again. Then gave it away. Over the years I now get to tell people, “I have given this book away to more people than any other. It’s that important.” No, I cannot buy enough to give to all of you, but you get the point. Palmer teaches us all about desire, letting go, and recognizing who God has uniquely made each of us to be.

10. My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok

Never before have I read a book about a fictional character and felt like I was reading about myself. Potok is a master storyteller, and this is displayed in this book. He explores the reality of desire that is hardwired in all of us, and the need for us to attend to those God given desires.

Okay, I couldn’t stop at ten … this list goes to eleven.

11. Insurrection: To Believe is Human, To Doubt is Divine by Peter Rollins

I just finished reading this book by Rollins. It is deep and challenging. Rollins has an ability to throw on the ground and kick you when you’re down, but something in you will love it and be thankful that he did.