IN DEFENSE OF DONALD MILLER (FROM A GUY WHO WORKS AT A CHURCH)

I don’t think church is for everyone. And by "church," I mean the event we refer to as “church” that happens every Sunday morning. This may sound a bit odd since my job largely consists in preparing sermons to preach at those Sunday morning events. But it is true.

I really do not believe gathering with a bunch of people in a room on a Sunday morning to sing, pray and take in a sermon is something anyone needs to do. In fact, for those who feel they need to attend a Church service, my hope is that you will be led to the where you find you do not need to go anymore.

I bring this up, because Donald Miller recently wrote a blog about why church is not for him (you can read that here). In the blog he spoke of not learning much from Sunday mornings services, explaining he has a hard time learning by listening to someone speak. After he wrote his blog, affirmations and critiques sprang up all over the place. It was actually the blogs about his blog that caught my attention first.

When I finally read what Miller wrote, it made perfect sense to me. He simply shared he does not feel the need to go to the event the Church hosts on Sunday. He did not say he is giving up on the Church or dumping the Church as some claimed - this is an important distinction.

I say this because, for many, what is central and foundational to their faith is the event of Sunday morning. When they think of “church,” they think of the worship service they attend on Sunday. This should not surprise us; it’s exactly what we have been taught to think.

For years pastors and church leaders have measured their success according to the number of people who attend their church. Notice that word “attend.” Attendance is what’s measured, and we measure what it important to us.

And attendance is important because what has been driven into our heads for decades is the centrality of the Sunday morning event. Many local churches spend countless hours, tons of cash and mounds of creative energy planning and crafting their Sunday event. And when the weekends finally arrive, the production value that churches turn out is astounding.

They have lighting cues, camera crews, paid musicians, sound techs, fog machines, massive cinema-style screens, and HDTV’s hanging everywhere. Picture the Grammy Awards with some Jesus mixed in. Many churches urge their attendees to invite their friends; while others go out and actively market their weekend services to as broad an audience as possible.

As church attendance grows, the budget grows, the production value grows and the marketing increases. In all of this, what gets subtly taught and caught is the Sunday morning event is the most important thing. I’ve been in Church services that feel like a rock show, and heard the pastor say, “This is not the most important thing!” But the work, time, money and energy that went into the Sunday morning event speak far louder than his words.

Sunday events are so central, that I am certain if local churches in America stopped hosting Sunday morning events most who church attendees would feel adrift and lost. Some are bound to claim this is precisely why we need to continue to meet on Sunday mornings, but I would beg to differ.

I believe it points to the narrow definition we have given to the idea of church - we have reduced the grand and glorious vision of the Church to an event. Perhaps it’s time to rethink Sunday events, and do all we can to get our people to stop attending them. To be honest, this is my goal as a pastor. I want to work myself out of a job. I dream of the day when I show up on a Sunday morning, and our building is empty.

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t want people to give up on Jesus or his people. What I desire is for people to live out what myself and our leadership has been teaching them for years. My hope is to see men and women live in true, enduring, vulnerable community, and join with God in his renewal, redemption and restoration of this world.

My hope is that people would learn that “gathering together” does not mean the same thing as “going to a church service.” Rather, they would see “gathering together” means living more connected in intentional relationships than ever before. It means being open about all that is happening in your life and heart and marriage, sharing meals together, causing your daily life to overlap with your neighbors, continually living more like Jesus, and praying with and for each other.

It means Church is no longer associated only with an event, but is first associated with a group of men and women with whom we live our lives dedicated to the love, hope, compassion and mercy of Jesus.

It would mean we would have eyes to see the needs in our neighborhoods, city and world matched by our willingness to address those needs as best we can. My hope would be men and women would be so invested in the lives of each other, and so given over to the mission of God that they would find they don’t need the Sunday event so much.

If we do this, we just might find that any Sunday events we do have are better than ever, because we won’t need the lights, the music, and all the production. Rather, we will find ourselves moved by the stories of what God is doing in the lives of people between those gathering. For now, it may be best for some to still gather with one another only so we can catch a vision for what life could be like if we came to the point where we did not need Sunday events so much.

And as we do, may we long for the day when our church buildings are empty, because the Church has so embodied the heart of Jesus that we no longer emphasize an event, but strive to live alongside one another so we can love, serve and care for our world.

NAKED IN DELIGHT: AN EXCERPT

What follows is a brief excerpt from chapter two in Unlost: Being Found By The One We Are Looking For. The chapter explores the way things were in the beginning. Which, of course, are the way things should be, and by God's good grace one day will be ... enjoy.

In 2003, in the middle of the night when my wife was nine months pregnant, she woke me up and said, “My water broke.” Like a good, confident, prepared husband, I groggily mumbled, “Are you sure?” We grabbed our things and drove to the hospital. My wife labored through the night, and shortly after sunlight broke through the window in the delivery room, our first child was born, a son.

It was overwhelming, and when I threw my hands up and yelled, “It’s a baby!” the medical staff looked at me curiously, as if to ask if I expected something else. My wife handed our son to me, this new life, so small, fragile and beautiful. As I took him in my arms, tears filled my eyes, and I laughed with joy and love. I knew my heart and soul would never be the same, and for that I was grateful.

We have had two daughters since my son’s birth, and with each one, I stood amazed at the miracle, knowing I’d just met two of the most important people in my life for the first time. In seconds they had me wrapped around their tiny, little fingers. My heart was, and still is, mush.

Experiencing the birth of my children makes me wonder what God must have felt when he heard the first sounds of breathing and saw the first movements of life. I like to think he stood back smiling and laughing, with tears of joy streaming down his face.

Not only were the man and the woman made in his image, but he loved them from the first breath he gave them. He simply couldn’t feel any other way.

This God was like a loving parent with their kids. He was like a parent coming home who is greeted by their kiddos jumping into their arms as they walk through the door. No fear or guilt or shame—only love and freedom and joy. The man and the woman met God and experienced him for who he is: love. Hardwired into their DNA as image bearers is the likeness of a loving, creative God.

It is no wonder that the impulse for love coursed through their veins from the moment God breathed into them the breath of life. Embedded in the first man and the first woman was the imprint of a loving God. They did not have to wonder why the other acted so nice or what the person really wanted. They loved without expecting or wanting something back, and they received love without thinking they had earned it.

They were free to be exactly who they were. They understood their truest and deepest identity as humans and were able to live in it unapologetically. God was not associated with fear or feelings of guilt, because they had nothing to hide. Everything was out in the open. Everywhere they turned, love found them, and in their freedom, they could receive it.

Together, they lived in a garden called Eden. Eden means “delight” or “pleasure.” Eden was not just a dot on the map. If you visited, you would not have seen a sign saying, “Welcome to Eden. Population 2.”

Yet while you were there, you might have found yourself saying, “This is Eden,” in the same way you might say, “This is paradise,” while watching a sunset on the shores of Maui. Eden was not only a geographical location; it was also a way of describing the world and the way of life that existed in it.

GREAT AND NOT SO GREAT EXPECTATIONS, PART 2

In my first post about expectations, I addressed my brothers and sisters who serve as pastors. Now, i want to address my brothers and sisters who are a part of a congregation about what is fair to expect of our pastors and our churches. Let's not forget it’s normal and natural for us to have expectations, but that does not mean our expectations are always reasonable.

With this in mind, let me suggest the number one expectation you should have for your pastor is that he or she constantly work to maintain physical, emotional, relational and spiritual health. The best thing for any congregation is to have a pastor who is healthy, whole and maintains a good heart.

Too often we assume our pastors are godly, spiritual and healthy. After all, these are men and women who spend hours studying God’s word, praying and practicing spiritual disciplines. How can they not be healthy?

Don’t forget pastors are exactly like you. We are broken and bruised men and women made in the image of an almighty God who are in the process of being made whole. As a pastor I know firsthand all the wounds, brokenness and struggle I have worked through and that I continue to work through every single day of my life.

Just like there is no perfect church, there is no perfect pastor. Beware of a pastor who tells you anything different.

We are on the same spiritual journey of transformation and renewal you are. This is why the biggest gift you can give to your pastor is to support him or her in the pursuit of emotional and spiritual health. Never forget this.

This can happen in simple ways. Pray for them. Encourage them when they take a few days off with family. Ask them about who they are, and not just what the church is about. Don’t hang out with them just because they are the pastor - spend time with them because they are your brother or sister. Give them grace in their weakness, and love in their struggle. Don’t assume they hear nice compliments all the time, rather send them a note filled with life-giving words.

If you do this, the very gift you give will end up being a gift to yourself. Because when your pastor is healthy, he or she will be able to love, serve and care for your congregation in the best way possible. While this will surely not create the perfect church, it just may create a healthy church. And there’s no problem with that.

GREAT AND NOT SO GREAT EXPECTATIONS, PART 1

There is no perfect local church in this world, but that’s not really a problem. Even so, many of us expect to find a local church that is perfect, but that’s not really a problem either. What is a problem is how many of us possess different expectations and opinions as to what makes the perfect local church while paying little attention to the needs and expectations of others.

Each of us have an idea of what we think the church should be. What the music should sound like. How easy it is to connect. What makes good preaching. What the demographic of the church should be. How easy it is to get to the building. What kinds of small groups they have. How much outreach they do and how they do it. And this list could go on and on.

Which means, not only are there no perfect local churches, but also there is no local church that will meet the expectations of everyone who is a part of it. With this in mind then, I want to address my fellow pastors regarding all the expectations we encounter.

To my brothers and sisters who serve as pastors:

If your congregation is any larger than two people, be sure of this, you will surely disappoint someone. These disappointments are not always because we’ve done something wrong. Most often it is because we have not met someone’s expectations. But how can we?

Each person comes in with specific hopes, baggage, backgrounds, opinions and ideas about what the church should be and how the pastor should act. There is absolutely no way any one person can meet all the needs – real and perceived – that exist in any one congregation.

The bottom line is this: as pastors we will let people down, become the object of their frustration and be the ones who shatter expectations. We should not allow ourselves to be smug or indifferent to the needs of our congregations. However, we also should not allow ourselves to believe we have the capacity to meet every need in the congregation.

Of course, if we don’t work to keep everyone happy, some will leave in the ongoing search for the perfect local church. But take heart, they will never feel at home in any local church because they are looking for something that does not exist. It’s a chasing after the wind.

There will be things people in our congregations want from us that we simply cannot give. It’s not because we will not, rather we cannot. There is a world of difference in that.

We all have limits, weaknesses, shortsightedness and blind spots. We should embrace these, not as an excuse, but as a reality. Because when we work to keep others happy, and meet their expectations we begin to lose a little bit of ourselves. We become tired, worn out and can even begin to resent the people we are trying to serve.

When fatigue like this sets in, the likelihood of us making a really disastrous decision becomes more likely than ever before. If this should happen, we will do more than disappoint others. We will break the hearts of many good people, and hurt more people than we may ever realize.

We cannot expect to please everyone. Let’s remember we are called to care for, guide and love others. Not keep them happy by doing all the things they want us to do. And there should be no problem with that.

*Part 2 will address those who are a part of the church and their expectations

3 THINGS EVERY CHRISTIAN SHOULD KNOW

Perhaps the first thing all Christians should know is what it means to know.Too often we are content to only know about things. We want the facts, more information and good insights, believing this will give us understanding. We fail to see that even if we have all the information in the world, it’s possible we still may not know anything.In Paul’s letter to the Colossian church he tells them his goal is that they would “know Jesus.” The idea of knowing speaks of relationship and connection. To know someone spoke of such deep intimacy that it was also used to speak of sexual relationships. To know invites us to move beyond basic knowledge, and find wisdom and understanding.Many of us are good at knowing about Jesus, but this is not the same asknowing Jesus. I grew up in a world where I knew all about Jesus. From kindergarten through seminary I was immersed in Christian education and attended church every week with my parents. By the time I was in my early twenties, it was safe to say I knew a lot about Jesus, but I did not know Him. We cannot fail to see that it’s possible to know a lot about Jesus, and miss the joy of knowing Him.When I finally moved from knowing about Jesus to knowing Jesus, everything changed. I moved toward an intimate relationship with Jesus—which taught me all I needed to know about the most important questions we as humans ask. Questions such as "Who am I?" "Why am I here?"and "Where am I going?"+ Continue Reading

IT'S (NOT) CHRISTMAS SEASON

It’s the day after Halloween. More commonly known as the first day of the Christmas season.

Over the next two months millions of Americans will attempt to keep up with the madness of the Christmas season. Parties. Shopping. Decorating. Retail giants in our land have rolled out their Christmas inventory ready for billions of dollars to be spent again. And Starbucks has already served thousands of customers their coffee in disposable red coffee cups.

The only speed bump in the mad dash toward Christmas Day is Thanksgiving: the forgotten holiday. For many the last Thursday in November offers a quick breather in the middle of an insanely busy season. It’s a pit stop before the greed stampede we call “Black Friday.”

Our overlooking Thanksgiving in light of the Christmas season seems to be a symptom of a condition we live with everyday. We are not people characterized by gratitude – and I include myself in that. Our drawers and closets overflow with clothes and our refrigerators brim with food yet the words, “thank you” are often not heard.

It’s no wonder Thanksgiving has become more connected to gluttony, football and sleeping off a hangover from Wednesday night than its connection to deep gratitude for all we’ve been given. And Christmas? No other holiday has such a deep expression of materialism and consumerism.

We skip over a holiday focused on thankfulness, and focus on a holiday that has become an unfortunate expression of wanting more. And wanting more only exposes the fact that we are not thankful for all we already possess. It's time we work to move past this.

We would do well to spend the next 27 days until Thanksgiving focused solely on gratitude for all we’ve been given. If we can do this, we just might find, we will want less come Christmas Day. Because we may finally have eyes to see all we have already been given.

For the next 27 days, I will be tweeting what I am grateful for with the simple hashtag #ThanksBeforeChristmas. This is just a small way I can refocus myself to remember all I have been given, and express proper gratitude to the God who has given it to me. I invite you to do the same.

THE FREEDOM OF KNOWING GOD’S WILL

“If God wants us to be in his will and to do his will, then why is knowing his will so difficult?” This question was posed to me in an email recently. It was an email about how we can know God’s will for our lives. Since that email three weeks ago, I have received six more just like it.

Of all the things people ask me, questions around knowing God’s will, doing God’s will or being in God’s will top the list. This question is related all kinds of things: choosing a college, selecting a job, marrying a spouse, pursuing a career, moving to a new place and the list goes on.

While questions about God’s will are good, and should be asked, there may be a better way of asking. Often, our questions about God’s will are rooted in two things.

First, is our desire for a secure future. We believe if we are in God’s will, then our life ahead promises rather smooth sailing.  Second, we hope to please God. We believe if we are in God’s will, he will be pleased with us and we can avoid any unnecessary punishment.

Viewing God and his will like this is little more than fatalism. Just knowing God’s plan for us seems impossible, but we hope can find it someway, somehow. We convince ourselves God has a determined plan for us, and it is far beyond our ability to control.

This belief suggests God is a deterministic deity who has planned out every single step we are supposed to take, the order in which we are to take them and the time we are to take them. Many of us have spent countless hours praying about and seeking out these steps. Deep inside we worry about choosing what is not God’s will; believing if we miss it God will be upset with us.

This way of thinking breaks down quickly. Because there are times when things don’t go according to plan, and moments when horrible circumstances rise against us. What happens then? What do we say to someone who believes they are in God’s will and everything falls apart? In times like these, we are left with few options.

One option is to blame ourselves, believing we are out of God’s will. As hard as we tried, we did not follow his plan for us. As a result, God is lashing out to get us back in line. This makes God into nothing more than a punitive deity.

Another option is to blame God, believing he has willed pain and suffering. We obviously followed what we believed to be God’s will, and now have to come to grips with why he caused pain and suffering. This makes God into nothing more than a twisted deity.

One of my good friends wrestled between these two options for years after his divorce. He and his wife met just after college. They quickly began dating, their relationship got serious and one night he told her of his intent to marry her. He told several of us he believed it was God’s will he marry her. Within two years of meeting they were married. Within four years of getting married they were divorced.

When he told me the news; it was heartbreaking. He told me how hellish the last year of their marriage had been, and he said, “I don’t understand, I really believed it was God’s will.” He struggled one the one hand asking, “How I could be so sure this was God’s will when it clearly wasn’t?” This led to shame, self-doubt and guilt. On the other hand he asked, “If it was God’s will, how could God allow this?” This led to anger and resentment toward God. He’s not alone.

How many of us have made a decision believing it to be God’s will, only to have the wheels come off sometime down the road? This struggle suggests God is not very good at showing us his will, but he is really good at punishing us so we know what his will is not. Thankfully, there is a third option.

God’s will, or what God wants, is the reconciliation of all things on earth or and in heaven. God’s will, what God desires, is that all men and women would be saved, and that none would suffer. God’s deep desire is the redemption, renewal and restoration of all things. He wants this so badly that Jesus shed his blood and gave his life so that he could restore peace and wholeness to our broken world. The biblical writers call this good news.

The amazing thing is not only does God want this, but he invites us to join with him in his work in this world. Simply put: God’s will for us is that we join with him in his redemptive work in this world. Which reframes our question about knowing and doing God’s will.

Knowing, doing and being in God’s will begins with looking at our lives and asking, “Are there places where we see ourselves joining with God in his redemptive work in this world?” We can ask this question in the many important decisions that face us in life – whether that be colleges, jobs, spouses, relocating, careers.

We do not have to grope about blindly in prayer hoping we hit some cosmic bulls eye called God’s will. We are freed to ask, “Will this decision allow me to participate more fully in God’s redemptive work in this world?” This lends tremendous freedom when it comes to making choices, and doing God’s will.

God has not made his will hard to know. His will is the renewal of all things. What’s really difficult is choosing to participate in God’s will, and spend our lives joining God in his redemptive work in this world of ours that so desperately needs it.

SEEING THE HUMAN IN OTHERS

My new favorite television show is titled “Rev.” It’s every bit sacrilegious and sacred, and due to this, it shows exactly what real life is like.

It’s a BBC series based on the fictitious character, Reverend Adam Smallbone. He is an Anglican vicar who moved from a parish in the rural countryside of England to East London to take over duties at a  struggling parish called St. Saviour in the Marshes.

Every episode shows the challenge of being a vicar. The show’s tagline is, “It’s hell being a vicar.” In typical British fashion the humor is ironic and subtle. Adam is continually thrust into difficult situations between his parishioners, drug addicts, people on the streets, his overbearing bishop, and his loving wife.

I have been slowly making my way through the series thanks to Hulu, and recently watched the best episode yet. Adam discovers Mick, a crack addict, has gotten clean and has a heart to help him stay sober. In the meantime the church budget is off and he and his wife are trying to have a baby.

In the midst of this pressure, Adam invites Mick to come live at his house for two days until he can get into a residential treatment program. The bishop does not approve of this whatsoever, and pays Adam a visit.

After the bishop express his disapproval, Adam says, “Maybe I am being stupid, maybe it's not the logical thing to do. But you know what else was illogical? Hanging out with lepers. Because that's the real miracle, isn't it? Seeing the human in other people; in the outcast. That's the one thing Jesus did that we can emulate. We can't change water into wine, but he said it himself. Looking into the heart of the lame man is a bigger deal than making him walk.”

Adam then goes and finds Mick in the spare bedroom where he is reading the Bible. Mick asks all kinds of questions about Jesus, and Adam says, “Identifying with Jesus is just such a problematic business. Because, I suppose you have your big moments, don't you? There's miracles, but there's everything else. It's just ... I'm not sure life becomes this perfect, clean thing. Ever.”

His words prove true when Mick steals their television and relapses. The episode ends with Adam praying for Mick. He says, “About Mick, Lord. I did more than try to give alms. I'm in a difficult situation. I'm trying to balance family needs with parishioners, and it's not easy. And yes, maybe it is nice to have our home back. Maybe I do find it easier to deal with Mick the crack addict, than Mick the human being. But I don't see any reason why Mick shouldn't get another shot at recovery. Could you take care of him, Lord and look after him.”

Just as Adam utters that prayer Mick shows up at his house asking for money … again.

I share these insightful words, because I was reminded of the very reason I became a pastor. It’s not the sermons, it’s not church business, it’s not to get theology just right; it’s people. It’s because one day, a pastor helped me understand the heart of Jesus and it changed my life. It dawned on me that I might be able to do the same thing.

And that’s the miracle, isn’t it? In the midst of life, just being able to see the human in other people.