hi, i'm larry

Each day when I arrive home I meet someone new. My son opens the door and tells me who he is for that day. Often he is football guy, sometimes he is basketball guy, other times he is Batman (who he believes is a bad guy), but more recently he has been Larry. Yesterday my wife took him the library and he was introducing himself to people as Larry. One person who he engaged in discussion even said, “Well goodbye Larry.”

Larry is not an arbitrary name for Myles. He knows exactly to whom he is referring. He thinks he is Larry Mullen Jr. Larry is the drummer for the band U2. Myles has taken to playing the drums lately as he watches U2 Live in Milan on DVD. He recently informed me that I am Bono (vocals), my daughter is The Edge (guitar) and my wife is Adam (bass guitar). Last night I referred to him as Myles, much to his dismay. He said, “No Bono, my name is Larry!” Bono apologized and kept singing as he danced with The Edge.

My son is only three, so we think of this kind of imaginative role playing as normal. However, if I were the one who spoke of introducing myself to people as Larry you may have concerns, with good reason. I am older, I am not supposed to do that. But if I am honest, I do pretend often to be someone else. Before you point the finger at me also realize that you do too. We all do.

There are many reasons for this I am sure. I think that many of us live in fear wondering what people will think of the real us. So we have to create masks and live in a dizzying world of acting, pretend and make believe. We are scared to reveal our dreams, desires and fears because others may well use those against us. Somewhat subconsciously we develop an outward front for others, and over time we begin to deceive ourselves. Without a second thought we tell others our name is Larry.

Self-deception is perhaps one of the most damaging things around. It is amazing how easily we can fool ourselves, and with full certainty and authenticity in our hearts we make ourselves believe the worst or best about ourselves. We build ourselves up so that we can tear others down. We beat ourselves up because at one time or another we let down someone we care about. If I can create another person the real me will never get hurt.

This kind of living is a huge step back from the design that God created. Adam and Eve were naked and felt no shame. This seems to be a metaphor for more than just their bodies. They knew each other fully. They were buck naked and had no fear of being judged by the other. I am not saying that we should be naked all the time, but we need to take off the other person. We can start this by being honest with ourselves.

The next time you are in an argument. Stop and ask yourself why you are mad? Is it really about the other person, or is it about you? Just this morning I was driving to work, and the light turned green. The car in front did not move. I waited and found myself getting edgy. The person in the car then saw their blunder, and quickly accelerated. I was just about to say, “You idiot!” Then I caught myself.

I thought, “What is it about you that makes you so mad when people do things that are not directed against me or anyone?” I am confident that the person driving that car did not wake up this morning with the intent of making me angry at the light on Fuller Avenue. It is me. I began to ask myself, “What makes you edgy?” I prayed and thought through the things inside of me that are solely focused on me. What a lonely existence! Living with myself in the center.

The bottom line is we need to stop being a bunch of Larry’s, and be who we are created to be. This begins by being honest with yourself.