It's Hurts So Much, Because It's So Beautiful

Pain comes to us all. If we are honest, some pain hurts much worse than others - especially pain that has been given to us by men and women who are in the Church.

Not too long ago, I met with someone who told me of the pain that he and his wife had been put through. The betrayal he experienced from the lead was unfair and shameful. After our conversation I began wondering why it is so ugly when the Church behaves so badly? Perhaps it is related to what the Church is supposed to be when compared to what it often is.

The Church is the Body of Christ. She is physical embodiment of the Jesus in our world today. As such, we ought to look, think and act like the person Jesus. For the people in his day he was a sign of grace, forgiveness, mercy, compassion, hope and healing. This is why the crowds ran to him.

Too often it is a different story today. Many run from the church, and with good reason. They have experienced judgment, condemnation, hypocrisy, callousness, and indifference. Instead of being a place of healing they have seen many in the Church shoot their wounded.

It’s so heart wrenching because when the Church looks like Jesus there is nothing more beautiful. When we mar that picture it’s devastating. Destroying something that is ugly is painless and sometimes even pleasant. The same cannot be said about something, like the Church, that is beautiful. When she is torn apart it is awful to watch and brutal to endure.

It is much worse to see a magnificent stained glass window in an ancient church building shattered than to see a dilapidated, fragmented window in an old barn fall out of its once secure position, isn't it?

There was a time when I wanted to point at the Church as a group of indifferent, hypocritical, two-faced jerks. I wanted to walk away from it altogether and never have anything to do with it again. But something kept me close.

That something was seeing and experiencing the love of Jesus through his people, which is the true beauty of Church. As deep and real as my pain was - the love and grace I have seen and been shown far outweighs the pain. In God’s economy, a little beauty is far greater than massive amounts of ugly.

This perspective has helped me work through my own pain, and given me great hope in the Church. It’s helped me to see that she is beautiful. Now, when I see the things that are not right I still run, but not away from the church.

I run to God. I want him to remind me of how beautiful his Church is. I want to ask his forgiveness for the thing I do and others have done to make her ugly. I want to hear him tell me that when the Church is ugly it hurts him too. And then, I find myself running back to the Church.

For it’s in those places of pain, hurt, and disillusionment that healing, wholeness and hope grow. And when that happens I get to see, once again, how beautiful she really is.