You Don't Have To Parent Alone

When it comes to being a parent I am pretty confident. This is not because I think that I am an amazing person or that I have read (or authored) parenting books or that I am just arrogant and have a high opinion of myself.

I am confident as a parent because I know that I am not going at it alone. My wife and I live with a community of people, all of whom love my children and are committed to nurturing them. We believe that it does, in fact, take a “village to raise a child.”

My wife and I don’t think we can abdicate our roles as “mom” and “dad,” but we do realize that we cannot do this alone. It has only been in recent history, largely in the west that people have come to believe that a set of parents can raise children on their own. (and considering our current cultural climate, I ask, "How is that working out?")

Many Evangelicals have spoken passionately about defending the family and preached family values. Most of their focus has been the modern nuclear family. They deeply believe their passion is rooted firmly in Scripture.

The problem is that the Bible never speaks of mothers, brothers, sisters, or fathers in terms of a modern nuclear family. In fact, “Hebrew, like Greek, has no word for the small social unit which we call family” (Colin Brown, ed., New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology, p 247). Any mention of family is always talking about the larger household or extended family and friends.

This should not scare us, but encourage us. It is the presumption in the biblical narrative that the people of God would live together as a community. As a parent there are moments of tremendous beauty and frustration. At times the task can feel overwhelming. This can even be worse when you as a family are isolated. Perhaps, the answer lies in the formation of an “extended family.”

Sally Breen has recently written a beautiful blog about rearing children in such a way. It is a beautiful vision for what a family should be. + Continue Reading