THE GREAT THING ABOUT THE FLU

A couple of weeks ago, around 6 PM I told my wife I didn’t feel “right.” I wasn’t sick, but I knew something was wrong. Four hours later, I was laid out with a 102º fever. The flu had finally caught up with me – big time.

Until then, I had never had the flu, at least not like this. This is why whenever someone would talk about how terrible the flu is, I’d roll my eyes thinking they were soft. What I didn’t know was all these years I had mistaken a bad cold for the flu.

Then I spent three days laid out and beaten down. It was then I realized those who spoke of the terrible flu were not soft; they were right. At one point I wore a t-shirt, a long sleeved t-shirt, a hoodie, flannel pants, wool socks and a bathrobe while on my couch under two blankets. I was both sweating and shivering. Then there was the back pain that caused walking to be a chore, and made getting off the couch an ordeal.

While all of this sounds miserable, don't be fooled. There were great things about having the flu. I slept more in three days than I have since I was an infant. I watched several films, documentaries and even an episode of ABC’s Wipeout. I lost nearly ten pounds (everyone wondered how I, already skinny, pulled that off). And, I kept thinking, "At least this isn’t a terminal illness!" 

It was actually quite wonderful when I think of it this way.

Now, at this point you may be saying, “Yeah, but you had the flu. How wonderful can that be?” And if you are thinking this, that is exactly my point. Nothing about the flu was anywhere near wonderful; even if I try my best to make it so. Because there is not one thing that can change the fact that for three days I was miserable.

Yet, as obvious as this is; I often see us do this exact thing with our emotional pain. We all have moments when we lose control of a relationship, circumstances, employment or a habit - this causes pain. In the midst of times like this, I’ve heard many say, “Well at least I still have a roof over my head!” Or, “It’s okay, now I can finally move on.” Or, “When I consider the pain of others, mine is not really that bad.”

In a very subtle way, comments like these dismiss our pain. What we forget is that pain hurts, and pain was never meant to be compared. If you break your arm it hurts. If, while in the ER someone comes in with a broken femur, you may think, “At least I only broke my arm!” True. But it still hurts and needs time to heal.

In times of suffering, pain, disillusionment or frustration the best thing we can do is stop and admit that life is difficult. Pain is a great teacher, and we are often guilty of ignoring what it wishes to teach us because we pretend it’s not there. What a shame. The best thing we can do is admit that, at times, we don't feel "right." Then we can address the wounds that so desperately need healing.