MY LOVE OF CRITICISM
One thing that I value greatly is criticism. Perhaps it’s more accurate to say that I value some criticism, because there is some criticism I do not like.
Throughout the years of serving as a pastor in a local church, I have had more than my fair share of criticism. Most of the time it was warranted, but that does not mean it was always given well. This is because there are two kinds of critics. Some are self-centered and some are others-centered
The first are not really critics, they are complainers. Their criticism is about something that is bothering them. They want something to change, or expect an apology because things are not going the way they want them to go. Central to their criticism is self-centered desire.
Not too long ago I received a note that was exactly this. Anger and sarcasm dripped from every word, and they called me every name except Michael. They gushed about their frustration over certain issues and demanded that we change.
Reading those kinds of notes is not easy, and I hope that my skin never grows so thick that it will be easy to read that sort of thing. I reminded myself that none of what was said about me was true, and then replied telling the person that when anger and name-calling are central to the criticism I stop listening. I offered to sit down and meet with them, but said that I was not looking for an argument.
Thankfully those kinds of notes are few are far between. Most of the time I encounter critics who speak out, and central to their criticism is a desire for the greatest good. This is the kind that I embrace.
Several months ago, I received an email from a person who was feeling frustrated and upset – they made that very clear. However, there was no anger or vitriol in his words. What came through clearly was a concern and a desire to see something changed for the betterment of everyone.
What he pointed out was something that I had never considered, and it gave me great pause before I replied. Eventually I wrote back and asked for more feedback so that I could understand the issue better.
It opened up a wonderful dialogue, and we made some changes as a result that have served everyone well. This is no credit to me, but to that critic. He did not come in like a cold, damp, blustery wind on a cloudy day. His words were welcomed like a gentle breeze on a warm day.
To be honest, I’m thankful he wrote me, because it helped me see things I otherwise would have ignored.
We all receive criticism, and are all critics. Perhaps we should consider what it at the center of our criticism. Is it others or our egos?