To Live or Not Live Together

The new normal in our world is for couples to live together before marriage. It's commonly called "cohabitation." As a pastor many ask me what I think of it. At the risk of sounding "prudish," I have never thought it to be a good idea for a number of reasons. 

On April 14, Dr. Meg Jay wrote an Op-Ed in the New York Times titled, "The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage." She points out that many believe that living together before marriage is a good way to avoid divorce down the road. However, it seems that experience suggests differently.

What are your thoughts?

She writes: At 32, one of my clients (I’ll call her Jennifer) had a lavish wine-country wedding. By then, Jennifer and her boyfriend had lived together for more than four years. The event was attended by the couple’s friends, families and two dogs.

When Jennifer started therapy with me less than a year later, she was looking for a divorce lawyer. “I spent more time planning my wedding than I spent happily married,” she sobbed. Most disheartening to Jennifer was that she’d tried to do everything right. “My parents got married young so, of course, they got divorced. We lived together! How did this happen?”

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