looking for baby jesus under the trash
This morning started like any morning does. Wake up, lay in bed, think about how much I hate waking up (not a morning person), shower, dress, breakfast, coffee, stare at the wall, think about how much I hate mornings, more coffee, dressing my kids, and getting them breakfast.
This particular morning my son, daughter, and I headed off together so I could drop my son off at school. Then my daughter and I went on a date. A date in the morning with her involves chocolate milk and donuts, and more coffee.
We then went to a Christian bookstore so that we could buy candles for our Advent wreath. I usually bring a brown bag with me into Christian bookstores because they often cause me to hyperventilate (in addition to a massive breakout of hives). These stores are the epitome of everything that is not Christian. I readied the paper bag, which was a good thing as upon entering I saw a Christian t-shirt with the Burger King Logo. Inside the logo was cleverly written, “Christ is King” in the bubble font that BK uses for their design.
Now that makes sense, Jesus and fast food. Not to mention parodying the fast food chain who oppresses and abuses its farm workers by paying them what people made in 1965 (for more on that see: burger king's tomatoes). My breath was staccatoed and my neck started to itch. My daughter walked around looking at all the Christian stuffed animals. These are no ordinary stuffed animals mind you, they are Christian. This is because they have a bible verse embroidered on the ribbon tied to their neck.
I looked around for the candles as quickly as possible, and finally found some small ones that were not the right size. It was then I began to realize that I endured all the Christian stuff only to not find what I was looking for. I approached the counter to ask about the candles and was told that they were all out. Then the woman behind the counter, on which were stacks of Christian Chocalates, Christian Candies, and Christian Key Chains, said, “I’m sorry we have no candles left, but we have a lot of wonderful Christian resources here on sale.” As she motioned I looked at the Christian books to which she pointed.
When I looked, something struck me as odd. I saw the faces of many men and women, both of whom looked as though they were wearing a lot of make-up, smiling back at me. These were the Christian authors of the Christian books that were sold at the Christian store. On many of the books were pictures of these authors.
There were Christian books on (between 7 and 21 ways) how to have the most unbelievable, wealthy, amazing life ever of all time, which are not selling too well in places like Darfur or Uganda. Christian books about knowing which voice is God's, by the way if you are hearing many voices you may need more than this book can offer. Christian books about being happy in every and all circumstances, which I suppose I should read because I was not happy in the Christian bookstore. Christian books about being authoritative when you pray, which sounds odd. I mean are we now telling God what to do? And several Christian books about finding purpose, no doubt trying to capitalize on a million dollar idea. The more I looked the more bothered I was. It was then the woman told me they had Christian bags for me to breath in and out of.
All I wanted were some candles. A symbol that my family and I use as we celebrate this season of hope, peace, and anticipation. Advent is perhaps a holiday that focuses on simplicity more than any other. As we celebrate and contemplate what it is we are hoping for, we see Jesus. A peasant from the North of Israel. The part of Israel that caused people to say, “Can anything good come from up there?”
In the midst of all of this, I had to sort through the Christian trash of this Christian store. Incidentally I am not sure if I saw Jesus in any of it. I saw a lot of Christian people on Christian book covers smiling at me. I saw a lot of Christian candy, Christian t-shirts, Christian stuffed animals, Christian gift bags, Christian pictures of eagles, Christian sno globes, and a host of other Christian crap. But no Jesus. I suspect if I had been in the stable on that wonderful night I would have seen Jesus plainly. After all isn’t that what Advent is all about?
This particular morning my son, daughter, and I headed off together so I could drop my son off at school. Then my daughter and I went on a date. A date in the morning with her involves chocolate milk and donuts, and more coffee.
We then went to a Christian bookstore so that we could buy candles for our Advent wreath. I usually bring a brown bag with me into Christian bookstores because they often cause me to hyperventilate (in addition to a massive breakout of hives). These stores are the epitome of everything that is not Christian. I readied the paper bag, which was a good thing as upon entering I saw a Christian t-shirt with the Burger King Logo. Inside the logo was cleverly written, “Christ is King” in the bubble font that BK uses for their design.
Now that makes sense, Jesus and fast food. Not to mention parodying the fast food chain who oppresses and abuses its farm workers by paying them what people made in 1965 (for more on that see: burger king's tomatoes). My breath was staccatoed and my neck started to itch. My daughter walked around looking at all the Christian stuffed animals. These are no ordinary stuffed animals mind you, they are Christian. This is because they have a bible verse embroidered on the ribbon tied to their neck.
I looked around for the candles as quickly as possible, and finally found some small ones that were not the right size. It was then I began to realize that I endured all the Christian stuff only to not find what I was looking for. I approached the counter to ask about the candles and was told that they were all out. Then the woman behind the counter, on which were stacks of Christian Chocalates, Christian Candies, and Christian Key Chains, said, “I’m sorry we have no candles left, but we have a lot of wonderful Christian resources here on sale.” As she motioned I looked at the Christian books to which she pointed.
When I looked, something struck me as odd. I saw the faces of many men and women, both of whom looked as though they were wearing a lot of make-up, smiling back at me. These were the Christian authors of the Christian books that were sold at the Christian store. On many of the books were pictures of these authors.
There were Christian books on (between 7 and 21 ways) how to have the most unbelievable, wealthy, amazing life ever of all time, which are not selling too well in places like Darfur or Uganda. Christian books about knowing which voice is God's, by the way if you are hearing many voices you may need more than this book can offer. Christian books about being happy in every and all circumstances, which I suppose I should read because I was not happy in the Christian bookstore. Christian books about being authoritative when you pray, which sounds odd. I mean are we now telling God what to do? And several Christian books about finding purpose, no doubt trying to capitalize on a million dollar idea. The more I looked the more bothered I was. It was then the woman told me they had Christian bags for me to breath in and out of.
All I wanted were some candles. A symbol that my family and I use as we celebrate this season of hope, peace, and anticipation. Advent is perhaps a holiday that focuses on simplicity more than any other. As we celebrate and contemplate what it is we are hoping for, we see Jesus. A peasant from the North of Israel. The part of Israel that caused people to say, “Can anything good come from up there?”
In the midst of all of this, I had to sort through the Christian trash of this Christian store. Incidentally I am not sure if I saw Jesus in any of it. I saw a lot of Christian people on Christian book covers smiling at me. I saw a lot of Christian candy, Christian t-shirts, Christian stuffed animals, Christian gift bags, Christian pictures of eagles, Christian sno globes, and a host of other Christian crap. But no Jesus. I suspect if I had been in the stable on that wonderful night I would have seen Jesus plainly. After all isn’t that what Advent is all about?