church in the bar
“There is more authenticity at a bar than at church.”
This was part of the conversation that my friend and I had on Friday night. He was in town visiting from Detroit, and I met him late on Friday. We hung out for a time, and then I drove him to his car, because his ride had left. We found ourselves talking about those we had just spent some time with.
One of them was investigating Eastern Mystery Religions, and was fascinated by a professor at Grand Valley who taught Eastern Religions. I tried to talk about Ghandi, who while he followed the teachings of Jesus did not consider himself a Christian (funny, he seems the exact opposite of many today who do consider themselves Christians). We chatted about what it means to be religious, and rather openly shared our views on God, Catholicism, and Christianity.
Another guy began talking passionately about cigars vs. cigarettes. He then went into a Mussolini styled speech about the devilishness of cigarettes. I asked him if he thought himself opinionated, and we laughed. He then told us about his grandfather whom he loved who had throat cancer because of smoking cigarettes. He explained this is why he gets so intense about those who still choose to smoke.
Why do people feel so comfortable talking about issues at a bar? I know a few of these people, but I am by no means an old friend (no, it is not because they have had too much to drink). Maybe the church should start meeting in a bar (careful, this is how the Reformation started).
I think about how the church can often be. I recall a friend of mine who once said to a pastor, “Your attitude tells me that it is not safe to ask spiritual questions in church.” I think about this and cringe, not because it was said to a pastor, but what he said was true. I then think about the number of times I have had a spiritual dialogue over a beer with someone who would never set foot in a church. One time I was in the middle of a conversation with a friend who finally said, “Alright man, this is cool, but I can’t do the beer and Jesus thing.”
What would it be like if the Church were a place to speak about our hurt, our pain, our dark places, and not fear betrayal? My friend was concerned that she might be weighing others down with her problems. She was told by someone close to her not to worry because while she listened to her problems, she really did not think about them much, so really she wasn’t weighing anyone down with her problems.
I suppose I do not need to tell stories about people who have been hurt by others in the church because of sharing part of their lives in confidence. I do not need to write about the way some who have been treated poorly who have been dealing with sin in their lives.
It is striking that so often some within the Church act as if they have all the answers to life’s questions, yet these are the same people who do not provide a safe place to ask difficult questions. Something tells me that God can handle any question we pose to Him.
We speak so often of wanting authenticity … this cannot happen until we are authentic. We cannot demand it from others without first being authentic ourselves. The Church needs to be the group of people with whom we experience the truest authenticity … if you are not sure what authenticity looks like, I know of a place you can go to experience it.