a loving dad
As a pastor I receive a lot of emails asking for advice, thoughts, opinions, etc. Most of the time I read the email, and think to myself, “I have no clue.” I feel so inadequate to speak into the lives of some who are hurting, confused, or doubtful. The other day, I received an email from a college student from our faith community. She asked the question, “How can God love me if I do not love myself?” I thought for a time, and then saw the picture of my daughter on my computer screen, and chose to answer with this reply …
As for you not loving yourself. Let me try to give some thoughts. I have a one year old daughter. (she is the cutest girl ever ... Her older brother of course is the cutest boy). She crawls and drools on everything, and has little or no understanding of who she is as a person, let alone what she will be as a woman someday. I however sit and watch her climb unsteadily on the couch, smile baring the only two teeth in her mouth, and talk gibberish to no one. My heart fills with such deep love for her, and I know that with a moment's notice, I would gladly give my life for her. She still has no clue. It would not be fair to say of her that "she loves herself" however it is my job as a dad to help her along with this.
So as she grows, If I treat her poorly, ridicule her, and criticize everything she does, inevitably she would grow up not believing in herself, and maybe even hating who she is. Over time her condition would worsen and she would have a tough time even functioning. Seeing no value in herself she may go on to make any number of horrible decisions with her life.
But this, God willing will not happen. As I love her deeply I will help her understand, that I think she is beautiful, that she is a person of worth and value, that she is a woman in the image of God. I will also help her to see herself that way. Not to be arrogant but to understand that she is a lovely and that her very life is valuable. I will teach her self-respect and respect for others. But as for now, the only thing I know is I love her ... and she still drools. As she grows and I grow as a dad, this relationship will gain more depth.
So you ask. “How can god love you?” Well, maybe you are like his baby. Maybe you are this woman that he deeply loves, and already has given his life for. Maybe he smiles when he sees you walk to class, and he cries when he sees your pain. He knows that as you grow he will teach you about your worth and beauty, and will show you that you are made in his image. For now you are crawling around, as his baby daughter ... There is nothing wrong with that. Part of growth is reading the bible, and being in community, and you are doing that ... brilliant. I pray that you can begin to understand God as this kind of Father, for I know that he looks at you like that kind of daughter.