authenticity, part 2

Paul, on his way to Damascus, was still named Saul. He is going there to persecute those following Jesus. On his way up there he sees a vision from Heaven, and Jesus is speaking to him. “Why are you doing this to me?” Jesus asks him. He falls down, and loses his sight.

What made him blind? Did Paul, who saw such a bright light, scar his retina? Maybe then his healing that occured days later was a retinal miracle of sorts. Did this all happened because Paul was imprisoning people due to the heresy revolving around one called Jesus? Was this his great shortcoming? Paul looks at his persecuting as a good thing when he speaks of his faultlessness. He says of his faith, “as for zealousness, I was persecuting the church.” Paul as a Pharisee was so committed to the Text and the Tradition of the Fathers, that his passion for God led him to be one who wanted to punish those in disobedience. So what was Paul’s grave sin? Was it his punishment of perceived heresy or something deeper?

The beginning of Acts 9 states that Paul was breathing out “threats and murder.” His speech alone was about taking life, the most sacred of things. In this context Jesus confronts him. He falls to the ground, and is helped back up blind. A little while later it says that upon his being healed scales fell from his eyes. Curious.

I can’t help but think that Paul was reminded of Number 12 when all this occurred. In that chapter Aaron and Miriam are complaining about Moses. They want credit for who they are, and they speak against him. God becomes angry and Miriam comes down with a serious case of leprosy. What does all this mean?

Jewish tradition, of which Paul would have been a student, teaches that leprosy is a direct result of an evil tongue. The rabbis have taught that when one speaks against their brother the evil tongue murders three people. It kills the one speaking, it kills the one listening and it kills the one being spoken of. In this case, the evil tongue of Miriam resulted in a death of sorts of Moses, Aaron and herself. In the case of Paul, it resulted in the death of those with him, the disciples of Jesus and himself.

So when was he diagnosed with leprosy? Paul is speaking out against these people, and is confronted by it, and then becomes blind. Days later he is healed, and scales fall from his eyes. The word used for “scales” is connected in its root to the word for leprosy. Something that was like leprosy fell from his eyes. Paul would not only have understood the implication from Numbers, that he no doubt had studied, but he would have known that Jewish people believe that God alone can heal leprosy.

So what was going through his mind when he realized what happened? Did Paul have a deep understanding of who he was because of his evil tongue? I am constantly impressed with Paul as I read his writings, with the fact that he had a deep understanding of who he was. I feel as though his understanding of who he was came about because he realized for the first time his own faults. He had a real encounter with the King of the Universe.